Lose The Fight = Lose The Girl
Does this sound too familiar? Another boring date where all she wants to do is ask you a million questions about yourself… to “get to know more about you.” But then anytime you ask her a question about her favorite trilogy (LOTR? Star Wars? Matrix? Bourne? Godfather? MadMax? Back to the Future?), she just responds by talking about her Self for a long ass time?
Welll, if she wants to go to a club, you’re in luck because you’ll have a fail-proof chance to lose her as soon as you try to get in:
Bouncer (to you): “Uh, sorry champ. No tennis shoes today.” (he points to your Chuck Taylors)
You (loudly): “NO TENNIS SHOES TODAY OH? OK WELL I GUESS THEN IT MUST BE PENNIS SHOES NIGHT. C’MON HONEY, LETS GO… PENNIS RODMAN OVER HERE WON’T LET ME IN” (looking the bouncer in the eye and pointing back)
The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within.
- Gandhi
At this point, if the bouncer hasn’t already started pummeling you into a pulp, just give him a swift kick to the shin and that should get the ball rolling.
But remember, don’t fight back! Once she sees how you bravely follow Mahtama Gandhi’s teachings and engage in non violent civil disobedience she’ll have no choice but to get lost!
Grin and bear it!
(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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Alternatively, win an argument (like why the original Star Wars trilogy was better), lose the girl.
mysteryGuy
27 Oct 08 at 10:47 am
To make this successful it’s important to remember that your girl can’t look down prior to leaving the house (or alternately meet her somewhere else). If she sees your shoes prior to departure, you will receive the “you’re wearing those?” ploy. Should this happen, promptly inform her that it’s okay, you left your work shoes in your car earlier and you’ll switch them after you arrive. Then upon arrival, ooops! You must have brought those pesky shoes inside after all. Then proceed as directed above.
Drnecropolis
27 Oct 08 at 11:23 am
Thanks Doc…..always thinking of details.
Mystery guy — where do you find these girls who will argue FOR the first trilogy? the EU?
Silvio Margarine
27 Oct 08 at 11:28 am
Sadly, there are some girls who will stay even after such a humiliating defeat. They nurse your wounds and then you’ve gone and bloodied yourself up for nothing.
Starcasm
27 Oct 08 at 10:24 pm
Yes…the minute you get “one”, after about 1 week you then start trying to figure out how to get rid of them. Good tatics..will store in back pocket!
The Hussy Housewife
28 Oct 08 at 6:39 pm
Excellent site Sil & Sy!
Kevin John
5 Nov 08 at 8:40 am
What happened to the flow of advice? I’m starting to GET girls now. I need your help.
Starcasm
30 Nov 08 at 6:01 pm
On the off chance you have one of those ridiculous girls that would sympathize with you following such a beating don’t panic. There is a solution.
As you walk shamefully back passed the line to your car yell angrily at her “SEE, I TOLD YOU SNEAKERS AREN’T ALLOWED!”
Drunkman
16 Dec 08 at 3:45 pm