Bull in her China Cabinet
Have you ever looked at a china cabinet and just wanted to ram into it at full speed?
Yeah me too.
If you really want to lose girls, and lose them fast, organize a tea party at your lady’s house.
Once all her friends are seated and enjoying their nice biscottis:
- Stand up
- Put down your cup and saucer
- Begin mouthing all the words to Drowning Pool’s song “Bodies (Let the Bodies Hit the Floor)”, getting louder as you go
Wait for it.... waiiiit.....
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Beaten why for
Can’t take much more
One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me
One - Something’s got to give
Two - Something’s got to give
Three - Something’s got to give
Now
Let the bodies hit the floor
Push me again
This is the end
Skin against skin blood and bone
You’re all by yourself but you’re not alone
You wanted in now you’re here
Driven by hate consumed by fear
Let the bodies hit the floor
- Once you get to the line “Three - Something’s got to give/Now” begin your full speed journey towards the China cabinet.
- Make sure to make contact with your shoulder. We just want to lose girls here, not injure ourselves permanently.
This technique is so effective* you may lose her before you even make contact with the cabinet. And the full guest list at the tea party will ensure that none of her friends will never consider trying to hook up with you, you can lose many birds with just one stone.
*Please follow the plan laid out above. Even minor deviations, like choosing the song “Good Vibrations” by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, can have terrible consequences. Poor Mark Walhberg can’t lose a woman if he tried, even with all those (one) gold records and those concrete block bench pressing muscles.
(6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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You and your buddy both have someone to lose? Arrange this as a double date then head to the local Gentlemans Establishment for rousing conversations with interesting people. Cheers!
Drnecropolis
13 Oct 08 at 4:30 pm
Doc Necro:
This is a grand idea but ladies will see it coming a mile away, especially when they see the flashing sign that reads “Girls! Girls! Girls! 1/2 of drinks on Wednesday”
Silvio Margarine
15 Oct 08 at 7:22 am
Hey Girl
I’ll be a Bull in your China Cabinet
I’ll smash it up and know you ain’t havin it
I’ll lose you so fast you won’t know where I went
All my money in my pocket not spent!
I’m at the gym talking to my Bro’s
Short shorts and a sports bra? No Ho!
Don’t stretch yourself in front of me,
I’m working out with my boys can’t you see?
I’m a level twelve Girl Loser
The sysop’s a player and a floozer
I lose girls faster than Sysop loses his lice
Put this shampoo in your hair and rinse twice
I’m out back and in the open
I lose girls so none need my coping
lil’ whip makes it rain awesome
sysop looks like an opossom
lil' whip
15 Oct 08 at 2:23 pm
Sil:
ahh, touche. What can’t I learn on HTLG! I’m a better person for it too
Drnecropolis
16 Oct 08 at 3:39 pm
My mom refers to me as her bull in her china cabinet.
rusty
11 Nov 08 at 8:58 pm
Add to my Bookmarks
alex
9 Dec 08 at 6:48 pm
EPIC!
Eddie
27 Jul 09 at 6:22 pm